Courageous Vulnerability
"Going through the motions doesn’t please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you. I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don’t for a moment escape God’s notice."
— Psalm 51:16-17 (The Message)
I always thought I had to be perfect. I mean isn’t that the goal of life, love, church, God? Perfection.
Only problem is…I am not perfect. Not even close. I really thought that I would have everything figured out by now, arriving at a state of spiritual nirvana as one of Jesus’ superstar protégés. I fully expected to hear the voice of the woman on my GPS telling me, “You have arrived!”
But instead, the older I get the more my imperfections seem to be spotlighted.
Every time I go ballistic when my kids are going to be late for school and no one can find their freaking shoes. Or when I am super sassy (and not in a good way) to my husband for no good reason. Or when I am thinking very dark or snarky comments in my head while simply nodding and smiling politely. Even the wrinkles on my face are now advertising my imperfections, an outward expression of the inward blemishes on my heart and character.
But it is best to keep all those blemishes hidden from the rest of the world, right? Best to put some make-up on those wrinkles and put a smile on my face to cover up the pain, fear, shame, and insecurities inside. Best not to let anyone know the empty truth.
Or is it?
Recently, I was reading a picture book with my children called The Empty Pot by Demi. It is the story of a child named Ping who is known throughout the kingdom for his gardening skills. When the emperor of the land announced a contest and gave all the children in the kingdom a single seed and one year to grow the most impressive flower, Ping felt certain he would be successful. Ping tried everything possible to make the seed grow, but after a year of tending the seed everyday all Ping had was an empty pot. When the day came for the children to bring their flowers before the emperor, all of the other children arrived at the palace with pots full of beautiful plants, each one more amazing than the next. Ping arrived with only his empty pot.
When it was Ping’s turn to stand before the emperor, the Emperor said, “Why did you bring me an empty pot?” With a broken heart and his head hung down in shame, Ping explained how he had tended it all year long, but nothing grew. “So today I had to bring an empty pot without a flower. It was the best I could do.”
The Emperor smiled. This is what he had been waiting for. He explained to everyone present that the seeds he had given the children had been cooked, so it was impossible for any of them to grow. He said, “I admire Ping’s great courage to appear before me with the empty truth, and now I reward him with my entire kingdom.”
After I finished reading the book, I thought to myself …now that is courageous vulnerability. And it is inspiring.
Unfortunately, I have spent most of my life as one of the children in the crowd. How many times have I stuffed an artificial flower into my empty pot rather than letting the truth be exposed? How many times have I put on appearances to hide my inner failures? Smiling through the pain, laughing to cover my insecurities, telling others that everything is “fine” when it is not. Not asking for help when I need it; looking like I have it all together, while burying my shame deep inside.
Jesus called people like that “whitewashed tombs”. Those that look beautiful on the outside but have no true life within. It is clear that God is not big on appearances.
God is big on brokenness.
When we come to the end ourselves. When we realize that all of our best efforts still leave us empty. When we finally come to God and in our tears of shame tell Him, “ I tried my best and it wasn’t good enough.”
That is when He lovingly looks at us and says, “This is what I have been waiting for! Now I will reward you with my entire kingdom. And not just that…I will begin to fill all of your empty places with my very Self.”
Ann Voskamp in her book 1000 Gifts, writes about the idea of being “empty to fill”:
"Emptiness itself can birth the fullness of grace because in the emptiness we have the opportunity to turn to God, the only begetter of grace, and there find all the fullness of joy."
To be emptied of self in order to be filled with Christ. To stand before God with nothing to show for all of our best efforts. When everyone else seems to be getting it right and we have come to the end of ourselves. In this courageous desperation, we bring God our nothing. And He gives us His everything.
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30
The truth is our seeds are all cooked. Some of us may do a better job of filling up our pots, but we were made for more than just “filler”. What if we, all of us, stood together with our empty pots? What if we came together before the King with our nothingness?
What if we dared to create a culture of courageous vulnerability?
Perhaps together we might “grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ…that we may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Eph. 3:18-19
Some people see their cup as half empty, others see their cup as half full. Sometimes our cups are just plain ol’ empty.
Bring your empty cups.
We are TEACUPS.